How to Make Friends
There is an unspoken comradery between foreigners living in Japan. You will make friends with foreigners easily, but making Japanese friends will always be challenging. Japanese people are typically helpful and respectful. However, they can also be shy and emotionally closed-off. I was only able to make friends with “westernized” Japanese people, who had visited a western country. Western (Individualism) culture is fundamentally different from Japanese (collectivism) culture. I noticed three interesting differences: relationship prioritization, manufactured language barriers, and invisible social dynamics.
Japanese Culture?
Relationship Prioritization: Most people on Earth love to chill. America is full of broke people, working two jobs, in crazy debt, with all kinds of problems, but they will always find time to hangout with their friends. Alternatively, Japanese people do not prioritize friendships. Work comes first and second… and maybe family third. I had a few Japanese friends in Okinawa, but only one “westernized” Japanese guy would put in the effort to hangout with me. Everyone else was always working.
Manufactured Language Barriers: Most people in Japan understand English, it’s true, but they will never speak it. Japanese culture values perfection, and shames mistakes. So, speaking “broken” English is too embarrassing to most Japanese people. However, the “westernized” Japanese people will want speak English with you. Try building friendships with them.
Invisible Social Dynamics: Japanese people are masters at “reading the wind.” This is the ability to feel the vibe of the situation, maintain social harmony, and silently communicate with nearby Japanese people. You can not “read the wind,” so will be treated like a retarded person in Japanese society. You’ll never really know how to behave, and nobody will every try to correct your behavior.
Unlimited Friends!
You will make friends, with other foreigners, in your language school. However, there are language-exchange groups all over Japan, and you can make “unlimited” friends. Click the link for more information: